Top Five Most Absurd Tech Gifts of 2010

This holiday season we’re taking a break at TechChange from bringing you the latest developments in technology, education and social change to focus on something a little more fun.

Over the years I’ve been fortunate to travel a fair amount by plane and in that time I’ve developed a strong love for the SkyMall catalog. Lets be honest, who doesn’t enjoy reading about the latest innovations in dog castles, personal massage devices, and Big Foot statues?  On a recent flight I came across a number of new technologies designed to make our lives easier.  I figured why not write a blog post to document these revolutionary breakthroughs and provide some gift ideas for this holiday season?

In the interest of technology, social change, and sarcasm, here goes:

5. FaceMate: Are you the kind of person that leaves a lot of folders and files on your desktop? Great. Now for only 34.99 you can also literally clutter the area around your screen with photographs, post-it notes, and other useless trinkets.  This is the perfect gift for family members and friends with Attention Deficit Disorder.

4. Solar Powered Tulips: There are few things I love more than coming home from a long day of work and enjoying my solar-powered flora neatly speckled across the lawn. The days of ordinary photosynthesis are over. Now you can enjoy your incandescent “energy-saving” garden any time of day, any season of year. ($49.95 for a set of three tulips.)

3. Sit-n-Stroll Deluxe: First there was the treadmill, then there was the seated bike, and now thanks to modern technology, you can go for a walk without having to leave your chair. According to the product description, Sit-n-stroll deluxe “provides the benefits of walking while you’re sitting in your favorite spot, talking on the phone, watching television or working on your computer.” Unless of course the “benefit” of walking is to get somewhere else.   We’re still not sure what qualifies this product as “deluxe”, but we have teams of researchers working around the clock on this one. ($39.99)

2. Marshmallow Mazooka: I for one was pretty disappointed with the pump-action gauge on my original marshmallow shooter gun when I bought it last year and don’t even get me started on the very average functioning of the LED sight. Well, the folks at Hammacher Schlemmer (Sp?) have clearly been listening to the concerns of marshmallow shooter gun enthusiasts like me from around the world and they’ve responded by introducing next generation in marshmallow shooting technology: the Mazooka. According to the product description (and I’m not making this up): “The integrated microprocessor automatically regulates air pressure, allowing you to launch up to five marshmallows in 60 seconds without manual pumping…  It should go without saying that this will “forever change the rules of engagement for marshmallow gun confrontations everywhere.”  ($49.95)

1. Underwater Cell Phone: I don’t know about you, but if there’s one thing that’s been missing from my life, it’s the ability to make a phone call while underwater.  Fear not fellow swimmers and scuba divers, thanks to the folks at ALPHA UWCP, we can now break up with girlfriend’s and boyfriends, make that epic prank call, get the latest updates on sports scores, and so much more, all while traversing the seafloor or pool bottom. Perhaps the best part about this game-changing device is its pricetag. For only $1790 you too can be part of the underwater cell phone revolution.

That’s all for now but we’d love to hear from you – are there other ridiculous tech gifts you’ve come across this holiday season? Share them below.

(Follow me on twitter @ncmart)